Celebrating 15 years as a Facilitator & Experience Designer

Growing up, I was always a gatherer. I learned from my parents who are both leaders in their families. Even at 8 years old, I led my cousins through group activities whether we were playing house, fair or running our “mud pie” business, guiding and gathering groups will always be a part of my purpose in this lifetime.

I see this profession as a chosen path, it’s not linear and most people still don’t really get what I do.

But how do you explain that you design experiences and open portals that have the potential to change peoples lives?
How do you tell the tales of teams that began disconnected and disempowered and within 90 min could truly see each other for the first time?
How do you share the joy, the magic, the beauty, and the power of what’s possible when we come together united by our shared humanity? That you intuitively guide sacred rites, rituals and ceremonies that mark life milestones and create memories that last a lifetime?

That it’s you but it’s not you, it’s Spirit at work.

What I’ve learned about facilitation is it’s an ART and a SCIENCE. It’s not for the faint of heart and it’s FOR lifelong learners. If you think you know it all, try leading 500 college students online in a high energy kickoff at the height of the pandemic or going head to head with Executive Leaders from Fortune500’s who could care less that you’re “excited to be here”.

This work will humble you and will require you to dig deep in yourself. Because you can’t give what you don’t live. And having been guided by masters, I know I am but a devoted student on this path and I consider myself privileged to be entrusted to be a guide for those on their journeys of growth, transformation and healing.

Some highlights of my facilitation career:

8 years a Culture Coach, Consultant and Facilitator for Delivering Happiness, a global culture consulting company where I travel the world leading trainings for companies like Starbucks, Sallie Mae, Christiana Care Health I Can Read (Vietnam), Giveness International (Japan).
7 years as an Executive Facilitator & Trainer for LATE NITE ART, a creative learning and development company that has led 850 unforgettable events for teams across 18 countries. I’ve gotten to work with amazing clients, Adobe, LinkedIn, Sephora, NYU Shanghai, and Nike.
4 years with Embrace Community, leading spiritual gatherings, events, women’s circles, rites, and rituals.
2 years as a Facilitator for DSIL Global, a social innovation and leadership development company where I got to guide trainings in Thailand, the Philippines and Australia.
Guiding Metamorphosis, a sacred rite of passage ceremony for women and femmes of color
Co-directing Collegetown @ ASU, a social justice and diversity leadership camp for student leaders

All is to say, it’s been a wild ride. When I first started, I would get major anxiety, it was intense and at times terrifying. I would be in my hotel room doing deep breathing thinking, “I really don’t know if this is for me” but by the grace of God, I stayed on the path and I’m unbelievably grateful for all the blessings and life lessons I’ve received.

And while these days I’ve been focused on building my own boutique branding, styling and design studio, I continue to weave everything I’ve learned into my creative flow and about once/month I am OUT HERE, guiding groups!

My tips for those who are walking this path:

Prayer. I pray to Spirit every time before I facilitate, “Great Spirit, let my thoughts be your thoughts, my words be your words, my heart be your heart, my actions be your actions.” This I learned from a mentor, Shereen Eltobgy, who truly “raised me” as a Consultant, Coach and Facilitator. By doing this I “give it to God” and let Spirit be the master guide and orchestrator.
When traveling, set up your hotel room like you live there. Bring something that reminds you of home, bring your energy to the space, it will ground you.
“Plan your burn. Burn your plan.” I remember reading this at Burning Man. It’s true, prep, put in the work and then Surrender, listen and be present to what’s there. It’s all about tapping into intuition and sensing the wisdom in the room.
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. Can’t remind myself of this enough, it’s easy to get self-conscious and try to “look good”, but as Maya Angelou said, “people will forget what you said, they’ll forget what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.” I always start my designs with, how do I want people to feel? And focus on that.
Know yourself. Trust yourself. This is a big one. It takes time to build your confidence and competence but as you get your reps in, learn to set yourself up for success. For example, I know I’m really good at deepening debrief questions, I also know I can get caught up in the emotion of the moment and time can bleed. I’ve learned to balance the feminine and masculine, the water and the bowl, the river and it’s banks.
The come down - let’s say more about this. Public speaking and facilitating can make you feel like a rockstar with all the excitement and adrenaline rush. You can also crash like a rockstar, hard. I’ve done that too many times. Manage your energy. These days, I make sure to book a massage, a spa date, and have Thai food on the ready. I also aim to prep that follow up email in advance so I’m not writing it while in post-event Zombie mode.

Tech Tools - I use my computer to DJ music and for slides, I use my iPad for my Flow/Agenda and my phone for time and capturing footage. If it’s virtual, I have an extra monitor which I find ESSENTIAL. Find what works for you.
Facilitator Bells - I use a Tibetan bowl and also have Tibetan chimes. I use another call and response clap called the “Clave” as well which is an Afro-Cuban rhythm I learned it from Late Nite Art. Have your go to ways to bring people back to attention, no one likes to be shouted over.
Start with a powerful intro. “I can’t follow you if I don’t know who you are”. I firmly believe this. People size you up within seconds. Especially Executives. I lead with a mix of approachability and authority. I’m warm, open, a cool new friend…and let’s be clear, I’m running this ship. Organizational Dom. Alpha Beauty. When I’m speaking, I hold court. For the people pleaser, it’s hard to do but when I’ve thoughtfully asked the group to return attention and they don’t, I wait for their silence. This is about respect. You’ve gotta respect yourself so others do too.
Bring the vibe! One of the best compliments I ever received after a 3 day off-site was “Lotus, you are the vibe” but really, people will forgive you for making a mistake but they won’t forgive you for not being entertaining. People want to have a good time. They want to laugh! Be intentional by curating custom playlists, bringing flowers, making the space beautiful, and elevating the group culture.
Be real. I am not about forced fun. Create spaces that honor the range of the human experience from depth and play to grief and celebration. When people feel they’re in a place where they can feel held and be all of themselves, they heal, grow, rise, rest, let go and reveal who they truly are, whole.
Authenticity. Whenever I try to “fake it”, it falls flat. Sure there’s a learning curve and you gotta practice but if I don’t believe in what I’m saying, people can feel it. Take the material. Remix it. Make it your own.
Forgiveness. This is probably my most powerful tool as a facilitator. 15 years ago, my spiritual coach taught me how to forgive. Forgive myself. Forgive others. Forgive situations. Without this I don’t think I would’ve kept going. The amount of epic fails and level of self-criticism would’ve taken me down. I’ve learned to know myself, trust myself and love myself through the power of forgiveness. And above all, I’ve learned, this work is is much bigger than me. So let me get out the way and let it flow.

That’s a wrap, thanks for coming to my TED talk, “Confessions of a Professional Facilitator”.

Celebrating 15 years as a Facilitator & Experience Designer